Where in the world have I been?........

That means different things to different people.  For some, I haven't blogged in a while, and for others I haven't seen them for a while.  Tonight's focus is more over the last month, and why I haven't been at Highpoint or any of its youth events.  My fellow youth workers will identify with much of this, as its simply a part of our existence.  I expect that some will not really understand, and that's ok, life's not about you anyway.

Let's start out with something classic:  Behold! In the beginning....ok, maybe not that far back as I don't want this be lose clarity by being my long winded.  Basically, we all have choices to make in life.  Most minor, some major, some easy, some harder than we would like.  Either way most find themselves in the comfort of the illusion of the oversimplified concept that there is almost always a decisively right or a decisively wrong choice. And why do we do this?  Because its easy to wrap our brain around.  I have found that life spends most of its time in an expansive grey area between the two.  Some say 'unfortunately' and some say fortunately depending on whether or not your proverbial cup is half empty or half full.  I prefer the later as it gives one greater opportunities to explore and serve God in His world.  Yes, that view makes the world a darkER place on the surface, but a world with less true darkness than one of only black and white if you really think about it.  So where do choices go if they are not automatically Right or Wrong.  Simply put, there are only two possibilities for any choice irrelevant of any possible outcomes and it's this:  we can do NOTHING or we can do SOMETHING.  An easy example - you see someone pocket money from a register at a supermarket.  You will either do nothing about it (and by nothing I mean not doing anything of any real consequence to the actual situation, i.e.- changing its outcome.  So whining to your friends after the fact IS indeed nothing.) or you will do something to change the actual outcome.  Maybe that's saying something to the person who took it, or reporting it to a manager.  Either choice results in an outcome, and feeling "its not your place" just makes you a passive thief. 

So how does that relate to where I've been, and to Highpoint?  About a year and a half ago it became time for a friend and colleuge to make a choice and move on to an opportunity that God had for them.  Being both an excellent visionary as well as a bit of a revolutionary he had led us well in "the good fight" with respect to changing the youth of Delaware and of Highpoint.  Once someone pivotal leaves an organization, the choice inevitably comes up to continue or not continue.  I of course chose to continue, and have no regrets in doing so.  The vision was still clear, change the lives of Delaware county students by showing them the love of Jesus Christ through sharing his teachings and building meaningful life impacting relationships.  Over the course of time things muddled along with few real serious steps forward, but with no real steps backwards either.  The groups strengths remained fairily in tact with the exception on not having any real avenue to any real music driven worship and the groups usual struggles did see some small victories.  Support was up and down, but thats normal in these things.  As youth workers the realization that being involved with one of the least income producing yet most expensive and generally least understood (and occasionally least tolerated) groups of people to ever grace the face of the Earth has ramifications comes pretty early.  The key to being successful (in anything really) is to not allow any circumstance to distract your view from where the focus should be.  In this case, the students.  Of course some things will tend to bring on more personal unrest than others, but thats life.  Make no mistake, that is still where my focus is.  It's important in life to recognize when things start to effect you in an escalating manor and to be wise enough to step away from a situation before the small things are allowed to become an issue.  It's also important to know the difference between a real situation and the dementia set on by spiritual attack.  Historically I have always found that every REALLY good thing that people do in the name of God is preceded by an attack.  Honestly I've come to depend on them to confirm how good something is really going to be.  Most recently we had the opportunity to serve as counselors for a kids day camp in the inner city here in Columbus.  The attack came, nothing that couldn't be handled though, and the experience proved valuable for both the kids and the teens alike.  During that time some issues of more real substance were revealed to me both by direct discussion and though action.  Were these things new to me, not entirely, the wholeness of the picture that was painted though was quite vivid.  The focus wasn't there, and much earlier triumphs found themselves acceleratingly undone.  Details for the blog?  No, there will be no gossipy bantyhens found here.  Are they a secret?  Absolutely not, nor will they ever be. 

The issue that prompted a weekend or two off was that I have noticed that things that generally don't bother me at all were starting too.  So I took a week or two off to unwind and it was graciously granted to me from all sides.  With a clear head I have been able to focus on not just where we're at, but on the more important where are we headed.  Please do not confuse this with where we would like to be headed, or where we say we're headed, or where its planned for us to be headed.  This is brass tacks, cause and effect quantified with trends based on factual verifiable historical data.  It's what I do for a living and it involves no guesswork.  A large part of where one is going has suprisingly little to do with where one has been and alot to do with how one got where they are at in the first place.  That's kind of abstract, and if you would like me to elaborate on it feel free to ask, but I will waste no more time on it here.  What has become undeniably clear is that some very important aspects of Highpoint's youth program not only has lost some ground, but is picking up backward momentum.  Some areas are up, like getting worship back, but it will soon be overshadowed unless that momentum changes.  So if I'm so focused, and there is an issue, where am I?  In assessing where we were at part of the consideration is what we (and in turn I) have become synonymous with.  Its one thing to catch some heat for being a Christian, but when students catch heat from not only nonbelievers, but believers, for going to Highpoint specifically, thats an issue.  We've become synonomous with exclusivity and not even reaching out to those who come through our own doors.  Research shows that someone must develop some sort of meaningful connecting relationship within the first 7 visits or they will most likely leave, often times with more damage than they came with.  In addition, I personally have lost face in the community locally by continuing to be associated with something that has turned 'the neighborhood kids' away.  This has been happening in isolated situations for some time and I don't mind continuing the fight.  Currently though I am faced with the decision of whether or not continuing that fight by being associated with something that is known as wrong is setting the wrong example for those who God expects me to teach to do what is right regardless of cost.  And that lead me to expand my leave which got me to where I am.  So back to where I am.

Here's where I am:  Waiting, studying, and exploring.  First waiting, the issues in question (again, no gossip) not only were noticed by me but were brought to my attention as well.  What needs to be done has been discussed, and like the issue is student led, so must the solution be.  So if we have discussed something and I helped guide you to the next step by doing something, you need to DO IT.  It has been several weeks at this point and by the communications that I am getting, what needs to be done has not been done.   On the adult side, the only people asking me to meet are the people I really don't need to meet with.  For those adults that have loose ends with me, let this be another attempt to prompt that to happen, otherwise it falls into waiting as well.  Will some bail on this?  Some already have and may do so again, I have to say though that I can't wait to be totally impressed!  We'll find out together.  Plainly put though, I am not setting foot back into Highpoint until these items are resolved.  Let me say that I HATE it!  God's students are my life, and without them I am a hollow lifeless shell.  :*(  I have to stand for what's right though, as I expect the same in return.  This leads us to studying.  I have had time to better question WHY these issues occur, where they occur, and how they can be remedied.  This leads us to question the source.  I think human nature inherently gives us the need to find someone to 'blame'.  Sometime's there is just simply no-one to blame.  This is not looking to be one of those times.  So who do we throw our hypocritical rocks at?  The good news, its entirely our students.  Leaders of any organization can only truly lead once they accept responsibility for their entier organization and its actions.  This isn't necessarily one of those times either, in looking deeper staff is just as much off the hook as the students.  So who's left?  The board?  I haven't looked as deeply there yet, but I doubt it due to their limited scope.  People don't get ignored for months on end by preachers, or board members, but by the very people they sit with.  Its a people dynamic, but is it normal?  Or are we an outlier?  This is where the next phase is beginning, exploration.  We recently visited Florida and I had the opportunity to visit two different churches, on Nazarene, and one nondenominational.  And quite frankly there is a difference to be seen with how people interact.  So where is the border?  Given past feedback I have received there is a hypothesis that it may be a Delaware thing, or even a central Ohio thing.  So for a while I am going to explore (and chronicle) the more notable churches in central Ohio at various times to see how people really get treated and why.  Who has strong points and more importantly how they got them.  Why do that when there are broadbased stats already out there?  Because broadbased stats lack the granularity to be accurate at the level were looking at.  This is going to need to be deep dive, as we know the general issue and need only to know that individuals are doing about it.  That's the whole Nightmare Before Christmas motif.  Jack Skellington, consumed previously by what he already had, found himself wandering out and finding something unexpected.  After a journey of exploration he finds what it is that makes something else so special and returns it to what was truly meant to be his.  I am now on that journey.  I'm going to try to keep the Air Force out of it on my journey though, but I make no promises!  This study doesn't require constant sabbatical though, so once the waiting stuff is over I will look forward to hanging out again if I'm still welcome.  Despite that possible cost, again, we must all stand for what's right, and we must all be willing to risk to solve problems worth solving.  Why put the effort in when there may be something out there that has the desired culture already?  Because I believe in you, and I believe in Gods missions for all of us!

Can I do this by myself?  Eventually, but that's a one sided way to do it.  How can anyone help then?  By giving me data.  Please share personal accounts of how you got (or did not get) connected at Highpoint, and/or other Churches.  For a few of you who are currently without church homes I could really use a second or third set of perceptions and would love nothing more than some company on visits.  Especially if you're early twenties or below.  Students are the focus of what God has given me.

So I guess to close what may be my longest blog yet (please see first paragraph for the irony), let me say that I'm not upset at anyone or "taking my bat and ball and going home".  There's a job still to do and what has been being done clearly has not been cutting it.  And although by doing nothing I would still be serving God in my return, God does not invest in us to not change His world.  We all have different jobs and functions to fulfill His will, let us all pursue them knowing not his plan, but just that he has one.

~Aaron

It's time to blog again.  since we've come back from Florida things have been pretty fast paced.  The bathroom is actually getting done.  I work on it pretty much every day.  It's time though, past time really.  The warranty ran out on the tub while it was still in the box for crying out loud.  The tub does work, and quite well. :)  How am I getting this time?  Welp, its like this.  Tuesday nights worked wonderfully in a way, we had new people come almost every week.  Unfortunatly no leadership stepped up to help.  There were some adults that said they would help but never showed.  And there were a few of the seasoned teens that I felt were ready to outflow and step up and help lead in some things.  The seasoned teens actually started going to another church during the week w/some friends to continue being consumers.  Which is fine if thats what they need.  So basically it was just me to put on the 'show'.  It just wasn't possible to get a decent dynamic when between each thing you have to say "Lets to this really cool thing....now just wait a few minutes in silence with no direction whatsoever while I run upstairs and turn the music on  or off and advance my own powerpoint slide."  It basically was overall lame.  For the few people that came  week after week they did a great job.  And we were able to grow closer as a smaller group.  That was really cool.  the purpose though was to intorduce more apprehensive people to the concept that following Christ doesn't really suck.  You can't show them something lame and prove that.  I tried to get some more resources and access to the database to send out mailings but even my most trusted staffers didn't bother to meet or even respond to my E-mails.  TOTALLY out of character for her.  It worries me that something could have her out of sorts.  Either way though, people either want to change Delaware or they don't.  So i canned it and its done. 

The time is nice though.  Me and Justin rode bikes today.  (The night I usually spent preparing a lesson and finding games.)  I cannot tell you what it meant to ride bikes with him.  As a fomer bike racer its been difficult for me to deal with Justin's total disinterest in even learning to ride a bike.  This year he decided it was cool though.  He learned, and we rode.  It was fun.  We're going to do it more.

The Ford Probe that was sitting in my yard for way to long is getting done too.  The engine is almost done and together.  And how is that getting done?  Because I sold it to my friend Josh.  He's doing it.  Hopefully we'll score a tranny this weekend.  Now if the grass seed will just grow to cover the spot where it sat we'll be good.

Oh yea, and I thing most importantly, the students threw me a suprise party when we came back 'just because'.  There was cake and stuff, but most importantly they made me an photo album where they all took a page and wrote stuff on it and stuff.  Just the previous week I was thinking about how sad it was that I didn't ahve any pictures of me with of the youth.  Now I have some.  If anyone who reads this has any picks I would love some copies. :)  It makes me miss our old group too.  Those of us that are left have been meaning to get together.  I'm trying to make them pick the date, but I'm going to end up picking it.  hehe  Anyway, I don't mind admiting that I cried a bit reading through the pages.  I love what God has commanded me with.  There's really nothing like it.  It was worth waiting 27 years going "Dude, what do you want me to freakin' do?!?" 

Doing some restructuring at work with a more "national" focus I'm afraid.  These are always uneasy times.  It was just announced so there really isnt anything else to know for a couple of months at least.  Either way I will not worry.  I will be provided for despite my feeble minds inability to see God's overall plan for my life.  I've really been enjoying what I'm doing right now though and wouldn't mind seeing it continue.  I guess we'll all find out together.

And thank you for reading.  Be careful out there.  There's been a little to much tragedy to go round lately.  Just don't be to careful.  There's more to life than just making it to the next day...